Today is a very sad day for us. I've been dreading this date for a while. But, we can't stop the clock, and today is Brooklyn's Angel Day. Baby Brooklyn was such a huge part of our lives. Although she was tiny, she had a big impact on many people. We miss her so much. I can't help but wonder what life would be like for us if the result of her surgery had been different. I think about her daily. I wonder what she would have looked like at a year old. I wonder what it would have been like to take care of two babies at one time. I wonder what it would be like for Aubrey to have a playmate. Our lives would be so very different. Thankfully, I have Aubrey to remind me of our angel that looks down on us from above.
I just hope Brooklyn knows how much we love her and how much we fought for her. I hope she understands that we miss her dearly. I hope that she can hear me when I talk to her. I hope she can feel my hugs every night when I hug giraffie. I hope that she is what Aubrey is smiling and giggling at when she talks to the ceiling.
I know it's not reasonable, but I do feel so much guilt about Brooklyn and her loss. If only I could have done things differently and listened to my body, maybe I could have carried her longer. Had she been chunky and full term, would she have been strong enough to make it through? Why did God choose us to be her parents? We'll never know. All I know is that the pain still hurts. I miss her every moment of everyday!
I love you baby Brook-a-lee! You will forever be remembered! Thank you for letting us be your parents.
No comments:
Post a Comment